and then this happened on the ride home:
kid a: I need to go home and use the bathroom NOW
dad: we were just at a store with a bathroom
mom: don’t embarrass the girl.. she needs to poop
kid a: I need to go home NOW
kid b: can I pee first- I need to pee
mom: can she pee first?
kid a: she needs to make it quick
kid b: I’m not going to make it till we get home.. I’m going to pee. nowwww.
mom: hold the pee hold the pee
kid b: I need to go now (bathroom shuffle in the backseat)
kid a: I need quiet. There’s too much noise. I need quiet. We need to get home.
kid b: I’m gonna pee.. it’s coming out
kid a: I need either absolute quiet or more music to drown out everyone’s talking
kid b: it’s coming out.. it’s coming outtttt
mom: want me to tell you a funny story?
kid b: don’t make me laugh
kid a: if you make me laugh it’s all over
mom: I just remembered when you needed a diaper from your sister when you had a pee pee emergency at Disneyland
kid b: I can’t hold it. I can’t hold itttttt
mom: want a candy baby to take your mind off of it
kid b: No! I need to pee. Help!!!
dad: I remember a scene in Bridesmaids where someone successfully used the sink
mom: don’t you DARE use the sink!!!
another red light.
kid b: WHYYYY are there so many red lights in the world. it’s coming out now
dad: can we just stop at another store?
kid a: NO I need to use the bathroom at home… it’s the only bathroom I want
dad: there’s your friend’s house.. let’s stop there and tell them we need both bathrooms
mom: they’re home I see them
kid a: NOOOOOO we are not stopping at my friend’s house to use the bathroom
then stopped at train tracks
car shaking back and forth with both kids doing the bathroom emergency dance
kid b: why. why. why. whyyyyy
kid b: that door at home better open right away or I’m going on the sidewalk and there’s gonna be a big yellow stain. That’s a PROMISE.
kid a: everyone I need SILENCE!!!!
dad speeding now. home stretch.
daughter undoes seatbelt. tire screech.
kid b: hurry hurry hurry unlock the door unlock the door!!!!!!!
kid b: bathroom finally… pee.. ahh.. (two seconds later) ok I’m done
kid a: get out.. get out.. now
kid b: ok I’m out
kid a: door slam in the bathroom.
mom and dad on stairs to house now laughing uncontrollably
kid a: shouts from behind bathroom door: “someone needs to go out an get toilet paperrrrrrrrrrr”.