A Working Dad’s Response To Esquire

In a new article for Esquire, author Robert Bateman writes how dad bloggers are changing the way he thinks about fatherhood. He talks about his recent experience at the Dad 2.0 summit, an annual and increasingly important gathering of influential dad bloggers across the country. While I couldn’t attend this year’s convention, I feel the need to address Bateman and what he writes.

The biggest misperception to Bateman’s article is when he writes about the dad blogger movement as a community of stay-at-home dads. Truthfully, we are MANY things and clearly Bateman didn’t research nearly well enough. I am writing this after my ten hour work day, in the middle of my fifty hour work week, in the middle of my busiest season at work. I am a journalist and this is the February sweeps period, a critical time for TV news, and that is WHY I can’t attend the convention.

I am a working dad.
I am a dad blogger too.

You see Mr Bateman, dad bloggers are many things. We are stay-at-home dads and working dads, gay dads, straight dads, divorced dads, married dads, single dads, religious dads, atheist dads, military dads, caring dads.

Quite simply, we are dads, just dads, and we come in all shapes and sizes. To pigeon-hole us in just one category is to minimize many of us who are just as caring and just as important as the others. I am writing from the perspective of a father with two girls, trying to make it work at a time when both my wife and I need a salary to pay the mortgage. I struggle to balance work and family like so many and MY story is just as important as the story of another father who stays at home. I support my fellow dads from every walk of life, stay-at-home and working, because we are equals in this effort to recalibrate society’s misconceptions of dads. We are equals.

In your article you speak of being both dad 1.0 and dad 2.0 walking the line between generations. But clearly we’re still stuck in the past if we think this movement is only about one group of dads and not the other.

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To read his full Esquire article:

http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/news/a42346/dad-bloggers-summit/

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About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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5 Responses to A Working Dad’s Response To Esquire

  1. Best response to this article yet!

    Wish you were there would have been awesome to meet you!

  2. This is a great response to that article (and I would have loved to be at Dad 2.0 as well). I’ve never thought that as a working dad, that the fact that I work minimizes in any way the roles I’ve got as “daddy”.

  3. antoniusrex says:

    Thanks for this response–it’s about what I would have said–save that I’d have probably cursed a lot more.

    I’m a working dad when I’m working (like you, 60-80 hour workweeks) and I’m a stay at home dad when I’m not (Feh on this finicky industry sometimes!). Right now, I’m at home. And then I’ll be at work. And somewhere in between, I’ll throw a blog down.

    Also, we all change diapers these days–our wives these days would kill us if we don’t–how he has a 2.5 year old and hasn’t realized this yet is beyond me.

    • I don’t know – I’ve seen some families where the dad just works and the mom just handles kids and they’ve got their agreements worked out that way. Just…it’s never been that way with me like AT ALL. I’ve got 3 kids now, and I think the grand total of diaper changes is about 60/40 between my wife and I – mostly because she is a SAHM now.

      But even without the diaper changes – there is SO MUCH TO FATHERING than just changing diapers. I’m out with my kids nearly every day, and the practical skills / physical skills aspects of their development has always been mostly in my court. I tried to blog about it at the end of the year, and ended up making this, to describe our outdoor time together:

      For every family there have got to be agreements about how it’s going to all go down – who’s going to do what, etc to make it all work. But the point is it’s not just stay-at-home dads who are involved with parenting, right? 🙂

      • antoniusrex says:

        Indeed, it is all about the arrangements of what a family has worked out–but my point is that if you looked at your wife and kinda walked passed a poopy diaper without changing it (which is pretty much what the writer of that article implied), you’d wake up missing a penis. Or at least you’d end up with an angry look.

        I exaggerate to make a point: dude is stuck in his “Daddy 1.0” mindset. Evolve or be mocked…er die.

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