Dadmissions: Taking On Cafe Mom’s “The Stir”

Dear Cafe Mom “The Stir”, this week you featured an eye popping article “What Men Really Think Of Pregnant Women’s Bodies” promising a no-holds barred look at what guys “really” think… and telling women.. “seriously be warned you might get angry”… You then had a smattering of “men’s opinions” with big bold anonymous quotes like “it hurts to look” at her… or pregnancy is OK if she doesn’t become an “amorphous blob”.. or one who called pregnancy a turn off and said “since she’s already seeded up, you’re better off looking for sex elsewhere” or the one who said it’s disgusting “like taking a Porsche, destroying it with an axe, and exchanging it with a Dodge”. Only a couple of your so-called “real men” had truly positive things to say. And here’s where I call total BS. While it might be a fun read… I think it is entirely inaccurate as to what MOST guys really think of their ladies. You either made up some great sounding quotes in a boardroom… or picked the most degenerate comments you could find. Either way, what might be great click bait for your page only accomplishes two things- making women angry at guys… and diminishing the self esteem of women who are expecting. Good fodder can often come at someone’s expense. For the record… I am not making this anonymously as the other “real men”. I think a pregnant woman can look glowing and graceful and magnificent… she can also look tired and in need of a foot rub and a great dessert. Sex can be challenging but interesting and entirely different than when your spouse isn’t pregnant. And yes I think MOST men… not the mostly degenerate and chauvinistic made up quotes you found.. really appreciate their women and what they are going through… It IS incredible. In closing, if you wanted quotes from REAL MEN, just ask some… we’re out there.. not hiding behind anonymity and harsh seemingly made up click baiting headlines… dadmissions



About Pete Wilgoren

Author of Dadmissions. Pete Wilgoren is an Emmy winning journalist, blogger, and author writing about parenthood, life, and other stuff
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16 Responses to Dadmissions: Taking On Cafe Mom’s “The Stir”

  1. If I could send a round of applause over the internet I would 🙂 your comments on pregnant women are accurate and shows like you mention (I do not know it personally but know of similar in the UK) should be shut down, they stereotype both men and women in obscene ways.

  2. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    My husband could not stop telling me how sexy I looked to him while pregnant, a conclusion similar to those touched on in my Evolutionary Psych classes. (Pregnancy=conclusive evidence of “sexy” fertility)

  3. Said perfectly and definitely am glad that rela men like you (and my husband) do very much exist!

  4. You rock. That’s all I’ve got. I stopped reading The Stir ages ago- clickbait, as you say. But your response- perfect. It’s time men started taking back this media-portrayed image and injected some reality in to the conversation between the sexes. Way to go, Dad!

  5. jdawgswords says:

    you are right on topic here…

  6. jdawgswords says:

    Reblogged this on Jdawgswords's Blog and commented:
    women everywhere need to understand not all of us men are stuoid…this guy here is right on topic

  7. Bruce Kaplan says:

    I don’t understand the nature of the discussion. So what if women’s bodies get distorted during pregnancy? It’s temporary. Is it an ugly transformation or majestic one? Who cares? The beauty is that human life results. Exp: Does a firefighter have to look stunning while saving lives in the heat of the emergency? So what if he is dirty, sweating, & fire scorched. If he is helping society, that is all that matters. If women bring their nurturing into the new life they are carrying, then it is the effort that should be the focus. Stop being vain during every second of your life and you won’t have to worry.

  8. manoucheri says:

    I totally agree! My wife never looked ugly, and after pregnancy I never thought she looked any less beautiful. She was often exhausted…and the Garden Cafe in Omaha, where we lived at the time, got to the point of having a piece of sour cream chocolate cake cut and ready for me before I even called in the order during her cravings. When I missed a night they called and asked if I was coming to get it.
    But she never “looked like a Porsche someone took an axe to.” Beyond that, if I’d made a car analogy about her she’d have rightfully taken an axe to me instead.
    Click bait is the correct term. I’ve seen more of that since I started writing than ever. There are far more like you out there, but that doesn’t sell web ads.

  9. Pingback: A Dad Sounds Off on Alleged Slurs Against Pregnant Women’s Bodies -

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