Dear Ruthie Strosberg,
Just a note to tell you that you are now the answer to one of my security questions… well you WERE the answer to the question anyway which was “what is the name of the boy or girl you first kissed.” And now that I’m telling you that you were the answer I opted to pick a different question.
I know we need tighter cyber security but I question the need to dredge up someone’s camp flame from nearly thirty years ago to protect my online access. I should have contacted the company and asked if two weeks dating –and by dating I mean walking you back to the bunk at night– raised the bar enough to be the answer to a security question. I remember carrying Binaca around for a week just prepping for that first kiss when the time was right. By the way, sorry I blasted you with the fresh taste of mint. I think I was just nervous and busy checking my swatch watch to make sure we made curfew. Perhaps it’s the fact that when you kissed me, you joined an exclusive camp club. Your name was then written on the bunk walls enshrined with all the other girls our bunk dated that one summer at a Jewish overnight camp in Northwood, New Hampshire. I guess you could say your name is officially etched in history (with sharpie). Yes it’s true people never forget their first kiss. And even though we haven’t spoken in more than twenty-five years, I did think of you briefly when I went to choose the answers to the security questions. In the end, it seemed weird and disrespectful to my wife of fourteen years to have a security question about a former girlfriend of just fourteen days… even if I was just fourteen at the time.
Oh and this in no way should imply that I didn’t have a crush on Robbie Goldman my neighbor on Hampshire Ave growing up. But these security questions specifically asked about the first kiss and not the first crush… And you had already moved away. Sorry Robbie.
No worries though…
In the end they had a billion other questions to choose from many of which I didn’t know the answers to either. So I am retiring Ruthie and now Robbie from any future online security questions. Guess I’ll have to stick to my favorite food and the town where I was born instead.
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