Dadmissions: Scheduling My Kids’ Misbehavior (and how you can too)

My kids are on a roll. Maybe it’s my fault. But getting them out the door in the morning has become a minefield of misbehavior. Getting both of them to have smooth mornings without one or the other stomping something or slamming something or crying about something has really become a daunting task. Which kid will it be today. It can be a total parent brain drain. And I’m done. I give in. So I’ve designed a handy calendar… call it a tantrum timeline… where kids can pencil in their misbehavior AHEAD of time. Hell, at least let us parents PLAN for it. I surrender. This way they can alternate days and never have that problem of overlapping meltdowns. And we can all mentally prep for it and plan accordingly. Easy. One problem. There are seven days in a week. An odd number. How will we settle THAT. Well I’d like to say on the seventh day mom and dad both rested. But who are we kidding. So the seventh day is a wild card… A magic 8 ball of sorts… dedicated for that bonus weekend misbehavior which can be ever so joyful when the one thing you dream of doing is relaxing with the family on the weekend.

But wait… there’s more:

It’s not just the kids who can schedule their misbehavior. Mom and dad can too. Why not. Fair is fair. We can schedule the nastiest… nagging-est… don’t want to cook dinner… or help with another homework problem… pileup the laundry like mount Vesuvius… steal the remote control and just sit in front of the TV and do nothing for anyone time for ourselves. Hear that kids? Mom and dad can schedule our own misbehavior and there’s nuthin you can do about it… nuthin that your cute grins or bashful eyes can do about it. You see… if YOU get to misbehave… why shouldn’t WE get to misbehave. If you are gonna tantrum. Why shouldn’t WE be able to tantrum. If you are going to stomp or kick or scream or pout… why can’t we. We are an equal opportunity family. Can’t wait to see how you like it. And trust me… time outs aren’t gonna work on me.
So grab a pen and sign up for your misbehavior… keep acting the way you’ve been acting… I’ve been dreaming of turning the tables… and then wait… just wait for mom and dad’s turn 🙂

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About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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4 Responses to Dadmissions: Scheduling My Kids’ Misbehavior (and how you can too)

  1. I recently watched a video demonstrating what it’d look like if adults acted like toddlers in this regard. Want me to link it?

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