**spoiler alert do not read further if you don’t want to know about critical plot points and why it made me feel WAYY better about my marriage**
I watched the movie “Gone Girl” with my wife and immediately felt better about our marriage… WAYYY better… not that I ever thought my wife was a homicidal and narcissistic author looking to orchestrate the most unbelievable plot twist ever that could have sent me to jail for life or to the death penalty forever.
I immediately felt better about our marriage not because their hot and steamy sex life at the beginning of the movie had been reduced to a slow and smoldering hatred about fifteen minutes in.
I immediately felt better about our marriage not because her husband was cheating with one of his students who was hiding random pairs of sexy Victoria’s Secret panties around his office after their “lesson plans”.
I immediately felt better about our marriage not because she shagged Doogie Hauser (yes he’s still Doogie to me) and then slit his throat in the most tragic climax ever.. although in his defense he went out happy.
I immediately felt better about our marriage not because everyone thought the husband murdered her yet she was the one out there murdering and she didn’t know that he knew that she knew that he knew that she was really still alive and out there.
Heck I immediately felt better about our marriage because of NONE of that stuff.
I immediately felt better about our marriage simply because the wife and I actually went to see a movie… alone… without the kids… without cartoon characters… without animals… or moral lessons… or fart sounds… or previews of other kids movies.
We were freakin’ adults and went to a movie alone… demented and warped… yet a movie nonetheless. And it was a good movie. And the fact that it was so evil and twisted actually made me appreciate my wife more. We NEVER get to the movies alone.. never-mind try to set up each other for a kidnapping and murder we didn’t commit. We’re busy. Life is busy. And yes we have our ups and downs… but we always come back to center. On this day we were Gone Couple. The kids were taken care of and we went off the grid like Thelma and Louise without the cliff at the end. We may be vanilla sometimes. And yes we’re at a place in our lives where even a movie –just the two of us– can qualify as a departure from vanilla. But I’m happy. The wife is happy. We’re orchestrating our own story and on this day a simple movie date was just killer.
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