Dadmissions: This Is The Worst Day EVER!

I don’t want to say the kids exaggerate but they throw around the phrase “this is the worst day EVER” like it’s going out of style. It may just be that they’re super unlucky because to experience so many “worst days ever” in such a short life certainly must be some sort of bad omen. Let’s face it.. EVER is a long time. A lot happened in that time. I’m sure Abraham Lincoln, and Noah, and Justin Bieber’s parents surely must have had their OWN worst days ever. So for my kids to top that list it must be something horrifyingly horrible and earth shatteringly ugly and crushingly sad. It must be THE worst thing that has EVER occurred on this planet. Without further ado, the top reasons why my kids say this day (or any other) might be the worst day ever. Just picture a nagging and whiny little kid voice and add the phrase after each of these. And go:

1) I won’t let them ride their scooter when it’s freezing cold outside and just rained overnight and the streets are all wet and gross

2) they didn’t get to pick the breakfast they wanted after debating for three hours of heated back and forth about the merits of oatmeal versus waffles

3) we “mistakenly” recorded over their new episode of My Little Pony (yes I put mistakenly in quotes. Wink) when mom and dad recorded a show

4) Toys R Us opens at 9 and we got there at 8:30 instead so we decided to come back later rather than wait at the door like store stalkers

5) We won’t let them get a new puppy when they don’t care for the dog we already do have that they wanted so bad in the beginning

6) we have a small house and it doesn’t have stairs and why do other kids have a bigger house.. why why

7) we got the wrong Mac and Cheese, the powdered cheddar instead of the powdered other one with the bunny on it.. and it’s not organic and the non organic Mac and Cheese could kill them

8) the kids plead their case but still can’t ride without the booster seat because it’s the state law and they’re not old enough or don’t weigh enough and mom and dad could go to jail if stopped by the police

9) we won’t let the kids get an ice cream when they’ve already had a snow cone the size of a small sand pail like you use at the beach

10) after spending $45 dollars at a carnival midway game to win a toy worth a buck fifty we leave in defeat realizing we could have funded a REAL shopping spree

And so.. yes you can see how many of these must be the WORST days EVER and how clearly we are sometimes the worst parents ever although by proxy that means that sometimes they might be the worst KIDS ever… and now all this has made me thirsty and I’m ready to crack open a bottle of the best WINE ever to celebrate being parents which is the toughest job EVER. (He drops the mike and exits the stage)

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About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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