Dear Jared Leto,
Congratulations on ruining average men for women forever. Lemme get this straight. It’s not good enough to be in a mega successful rock band. Now, you decide to get an Oscar for one of the top movies of the year as well. Oh and I hear you’re not exactly ugly either. Now you’re the MOST famous Jared aside from the guy at Subway.
Well congrats to you sir in your overachieving manly goodness and to my wife I say, “Go Fish”. You have officially made “the list” if she ever wishes. That’s the unofficial official list that many couples have. You know the list… Admit it. If you don’t admit it, you’re just lying to yourself. The list: If you or I were stranded on a desert island and there happened to be a celebrity there stranded too and you or I were given a free pass to be with a celebrity on that desert island for one night then you or I would choose (fill in name of unattainable celebrity here). It’s never gonna happen so it doesn’t hurt to have a list just in case the desert scenario ever comes up. My wife and I have been together long enough where the list has changed with the times. Her list used to include Ryan Phillippe, Andy Garcia, and Harrison Ford. Some people have aged off the list, sorry Harrison but my wife affectionately refers to you now as “my old man” so you’re off.
Box office prowess also counts. My list used to include Ashley Judd, Diane Lane, and Penelope Cruz but the list is constantly changing so you’ve been dumped although you never knew we were an item so it probably doesn’t matter so much to you anyway. Which brings me to this year’s Oscar picks.. It looks like Jared Leto could be a shoe-in for “the list”… and Kate Hudson too… you probably have your OWN pick and that’s what makes it fun.
The trick of it is to make a list of celebrity all-stars that’s a fun little couple game that doesn’t go any further. It’s fantasy. And fantasy isn’t bad to keep a romance going. Salma Hayek has been on the Dadmissions list for quite a while and I’ve often joked she’ll play my wife in the sitcom one day because I’d want a hot Latina mama to be representing just like my wife. Salma stays.
In the meantime, Jared Leto stays. He’s forcing me to try and grow out my hair out and learn to play in a rock band. Sure it’s fantasy but he’s still ruining it for everybody. Thanks for nuthin’ Jared.
Who’s on your list?
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