Hello God It’s Me, Dadmissions

Dear God,

I’ll say it to you straight: I’m not sure I believe in you. There, I said it. Well, you probably knew that already if you’re up there. I’ve had questions my entire life, questions which have yet to be answered, questions which may never be answered. While many say you need to have “faith”, faith doesn’t come easy for me, never has I suppose. When I see atrocities in the world, or families suffering, or incredible injustice, or Justin Bieber’s behavior, I’m convinced we must be all alone out here. When I see my kids’ shining faces, or my wife’s smile, or an incredible sunset, or Oreo cookies, I’m convinced we’re not. If there were a relationship status with God on Facebook, I’d need to check “it’s complicated”. It is. I am Jewish. My wife is Catholic. We had a priest and a rabbi at our wedding. And between the two of us, it’s never been an issue. Maybe for other folks– I can tell when they’re judging– but not for us. We’ve been clear throughout our relationship that we’d let the kids choose to believe what they wish… if they wish to… and when they wish to. For my 8 year old, that time is now. My daughter is getting a little older now, you probably know that already. She is thinking for herself, making her own opinions, learning just WHO she is, and who she aspires to be. And I can tell you, she is putting her own faith in you. Yes, the daughter of a guy who’s lived his whole life not sure if he believes in god, believes in god herself, wants to learn about god, wants to trust in god. She asked about attending Sunday school several months ago so we enrolled her. Today she did her reconciliation, the first time she sat down face to face with a priest to confess what might be on her mind. Her confirmation won’t be too far along now either. She may still study the torah and be a bat mitzvah. I don’t know. But I do know this: it is getting clearer to me every day that god has a presence in her life. I was proud when she walked to the front of the church and sat down for her confession and I could tell SHE was proud too. This is what she chooses to believe. No pressure from us. And it doesn’t scare me. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable either. Catholic or Jewish or Buddhist or whatever, it actually gives me a satisfaction and a warmth to know she has found comfort where I never really have. It is reassuring to me that she can put trust and faith in something which might help guide her through her entire life. Her story is still being written, and if one day it’s set to be bound in the good book, well that can’t be such a bad thing. As for me, the verdict is still out. But I’m keeping my eyes wide open. Maybe that’s YOUR doing. Maybe she’s MY teacher in all this. Only god knows.
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About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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7 Responses to Hello God It’s Me, Dadmissions

  1. This is really beautiful. This is my favorite part, “…it actually gives me a satisfaction and a warmth to know she has found comfort where I never really have. It is reassuring to me that she can put trust and faith in something which might help guide her through her entire life.” As parents we all want good things for our kids and to know that they have something that is good, not bad or illegal, to find comfort in during tough times is comforting to us parents.

  2. This is so good to read coming from someone else, as I wonder what to do as my son grows older . . . but know I will support him as long as the path he is on is not a hurtful one.

  3. Children are quite often our best teachers. Well done, Dadmissions. You’re doing life right.

  4. Sara Garland says:

    I actually came to this because I was intrigued by the fact the preview itself of the article said “I’m not sure I believe in you.” I myself am only 21 years old, and I was raised to be a Lutheran. However, from around the age that your daughter was when you posted this article, I knew for myself that I wasn’t sure whether I believed in God. I also knew that if I admitted that to my mother, she might not respond as gracefully as you have to your own daughter. And for that, I thank you.

    If I were to ever have a child, I’d raise them the same way you have done. I think, like you, the verdict will always be something I can never determine. But if a child chooses to believe, then we as a parent shall support.

    I do have a question for you though: Has she ever asked you if you truly believe? If she has, how have you told her that you’re uncertain? How does she respond to your answer? Did it cause confusion to her — how she can believe wholeheartedly in this higher power, but her own parent may not feel the same way?

    • dadmissions says:

      Hi Sara- thanks for writing. I’ve been honest with my daughter.. She knows I’m not religious and knows I question things… but also knows I support her. I tell her enough to satisfy her answer and don’t usually go further in the conversation than she wants to go. That being said, her mom IS religious so we have some of that in our house as well. Bottom line, we hope to show her all the paths and then let her pick what is right.

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