When I was in high school I’d babysit for a couple of kids in our town. It was great money and easy work and the family had the best snacks in the world in the cupboards.
My Saturday night routine was: get the kids to sleep, raid the kitchen for food, watch Amen, Golden Girls, Hunter, the local news, and Saturday Night Live on TV, then collect my earnings and get a ride home from the couple at midnight. Cha Ching. Even so, I was a good babysitter… Really. I was a big improvement from some of the babysitters my sister and I had. Let’s just say my parents clearly weren’t too big on checking references. I don’t remember all their names but I remember a few and so today, I’d like to out them on just WHAT I do remember:
To Jill: my sister and I still remember you bringing your boyfriend over to our house and telling us to go make ourselves busy. Funny, because when we walked into the family room it looked like it was YOU and your boyfriend who were getting busy. I didn’t know you liked baseball so much until your friend made a run at second base.
To Debbie: your friends were the most evil ever. One night when my parents were out, your friends came over and made noises outside the house and banged on the windows and terrorized us like one of the Halloween movies. We screamed with fright. Classy. You also tried to convince my sister your cousin was Scott Baio and you’d get his autograph for us if we behaved. Charles in Charge. We’re still waiting…
To Gary: I still remember you as Gary Gnu and some people who know the Great Space Coaster will get that reference and no one else will. You were a pretty harmless babysitter although you rooked me out of many baseball cards and I still remember getting duped on the prices of some of those cards we traded.
To the unnamed woman I don’t remember your name, who took my sister and I on a never-ending walk several miles away from our house to your house so you could hang out at a pool with your friends while my parents didn’t even know where we were or where you had taken us…congrats on almost being the nation’s first Amber Alert.
To all the good babysitters, I apologize you are mixed up with this sorry bunch. To future babysitters, just because you can sit…with babies…doesn’t mean you are qualified to be a babysitter. Everyone has a babysitting horror story… What’s YOURS.
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