Dadmissions: 4 Things I Learned From Facebook

Like, Send, Share: is Facebook the end of society as we know it or is there something redeeming here. Dadmissions explores four things I’ve learned from Facebook

#1 The Grass Is Always Greener:
No matter what I do or where I go, there’s always going to be someone on Facebook boasting about their overseas trip with stops at a quaint Italian villa, where they got to ski in the Swiss Alps, where they actually had a candlelight dinner on the Eiffel Tower, a trip that they got for free with their miles because they travel so much in the first place. The grass is always greener folks. I can’t keep up with other people’s grass. I can barely mow my own lawn. I’ll never be able to keep up with the Kardashians except when it comes to the size of my rear. Other people will always appear to be prettier and smarter with kids who are prettier and smarter with bank accounts which are richer and fuller. It’s like a digital version of high school but we’ll all get through it. It’s OK.

#2 Judgy McGojudgeyourself:
We live in a society built on several basic pillars including that of free speech. But don’t be too free about it. You better not mention religion or politics or co-parenting, or any issue that is divisive without wearing your digital Kevlar. The trolls will be a knocking. And if you DO mention all those things, especially in the same sentence, prepare for people’s brains to explode. Part of this is our own faults. If we’re free to speak our minds, then other people are free to put us on blast. Just be civil about it. So one day I’ll tell you the story about the stay-at-home, full-time working, co-parenting, single-sleeping, gun rights enthusiasts, anti-gun activists, gay, straight, liberal, conservative, tattoo-wearing, clean-shaven, religious, atheists who all enjoy quilting. But not today. Because I made that up. It would just be nice if we could have a healthy debate without all the name calling and negativity. This is Facebook folks not the Maury show. By the way: I AM the father.

#3 It Don’t Meme a Thing:
How many diabolical cat photos are making the rounds online. How many surprised baby looks with some funny quip about poop are out there. One day all the cats and the babies are going to hire Gloria Allred in a class action lawsuit against cyber space for all the compromising photos and quippy phrases they’ve been branded with. In the year 2500 when archaeologists dig up our digital remains, and they wonder what they Keep Calm and Blank cards are all about, they’re gonna be really confused. By the way, I am the worst offender. I make these things all the time and blast them into the cyber stew hoping they’ll latch on like an amoeba, like we’re all sharing a cold virus and passing it from one person to another across the world. If you like these meme cards, don’t retag over someone’s tag if they created it. Don’t double tag the pics just because you are resending it out. We can all tell when the meme looks all enlarged and bloated like certain celebs on two dollar draft night… How about some originality people!

#4 It Takes A Village
We’ve come a long way from Little House On The Prairie. It used to take two days in the wagon to get to the next big city. By the way, my kids would have destroyed the backseat of the wagon. You ever see crayon on leather? Finding Ye Old Cheerios crushed under the saddles? And the DVDs always skipped like mad on those bumpy country roads. No need to travel now. We are connected with people across the globe instantly. Most of these folks we’ll never meet. Yet many of the ones I’ve met online now seem like friends. I know about their kids and their families. They know about mine. Ask me one thing about my next door neighbor. I’ve been here five years and don’t know a thing about her. I think she’s a crazy cat lady. I’m not really sure. So for all the bad things about Facebook, I’ve found the one good thing. It gets us connected to the people we already know…and introduces us to a whole new group of people we might like to know. So I guess I’ll take the good with the bad- the greener grass, the Judgy mcgojudgeyourselves, the crazy memes if it means hanging out with you folks. I’ve met a lot of good people here.

Find me on Facebook at dadmissionsthebook

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About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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