Note from Dadmissions:
8 yr old called me at work this week and asked if I had two minutes to do her Mad Lib. That got me thinking about my own Mad Lib, a special one for parents. Enjoy.
Parenting is the most (adjective) job in the entire world. Sometimes the kids will (verb) with their (noun) and then I pull my hair out. It’s crazy. At the end of a long day, you just want to sit down and put your (noun) up, and pour a big glass of (adjective) (noun). It’s a funny thing this parenthood. When kids are young they learn to (verb) in school, when they get older they learn to (verb) in college, and all the while you just sit and (verb) to yourself that they survive. To see the (adjective) in their eyes when they (verb) something new is such a thrill. It’s like seeing my own (noun) all over again. Still we can all joke here. I can’t wait to (verb) my revenge and (verb) at every one of their school dances! I can’t wait to see their (plural nouns) when I do an (adjective) twerk in my semi-formal attire while the band plays (annoying 90’s song). When my (article of clothing) splits down the middle, we’ll see who gets the last (noun) for all the (plural nouns) they gave me while they were growing up. I’ll (verb) all the way home. Kids seriously, (verb) this important advice. (verb) your family, (verb) your job, and (verb) money, because money isn’t the biggest (noun) in your life. Someday you’ll be (adjective) like me, looking a little more like (famous old actor) and a little less like (famous young actor). Time plays (plural nouns) with your (noun). Miley Cyrus is the (adjective) thing right now, but even she will grow (adjective), even she will look back on her twerking one day and (verb), even she will wonder what the heck was going on. To the parents out there, sit back and (verb) because there’s nothing else we can do. One day the kids will be the (plural noun). Isn’t THAT scary. They’ll be the ones who (verb) and (verb) and (verb) to US. So let’s just (verb) the ride. Repeat after me: I am a parent and I am damn good at (verb). I have done my (noun). My kids are (plural nouns). So let’s all sit back and (verb) a big bottle of (random booze) to celebrate parenthood. One day in the old folks home, I hope the kids remember to bring my (noun) and they reflect on just how much I (verb) them. I just hope the kids realize how (adjective) they are.
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