Dadmissions: The Polaroid Selfie

The blood and guts blog battle is on with successful bloggers duking it out when it comes to teens and their online behavior, specifically those risqué selfie photos which get posted to cyberspace and can never, ever be deleted. You can read a couple of the blogs below if you want but suffice it to say one mom says girls out there need to cover up their lady parts and to start being a bit more ladylike. One dad says the boys aren’t sex starved animals as she portrays and maybe we just need to teach our kids better.

I’ll take it a step further. We could either take our own selfie photos and flood our kids’ online accounts with cringeworthy pics that will embarrass them in school forever, or we can look to the past while we prepare for the future. Just like they have training wheels on a bike, and a learners permits on a car, we need to create a safety mechanism until our kids know how to use technology properly. I’m not talking about watching their Facebook accounts or installing filters or any of that stuff because I don’t know that it works when everything they do can be done from their phone wherever and whenever they want. I am here to propose something dramatic. I am here to propose something bold. I am here to propose something shaken not stirred. The new Polaroid button. Yeh, the new Polaroid button. “Oh Polaroid” you say? “Those quaint instamatic cameras from our youth where you could shoot and develop one photo at a time? Aren’t they out of business?” Not for long. Because I think every new phone sold in the world, every instagram account started, every whatever kids are using right this second that we don’t know about yet should have the parental Polaroid button. Yes. The parental Polaroid button. OK this isn’t real, but go with me here.

Whenever kids want to post a risqué photo, or an inappropriate tweet, or any cringe worthy picture which may haunt them and their parents for the rest of their lives, they will hit “send” and the Polaroid button takes over. Just like a Polaroid, they’ll need to shake the phone around for twenty seconds in the air while the image slowly, very slowly, ever so slowly develops. Only after forty or sixty seconds when the image is fully developed will it then post if they approve. And you can only do one photo at a time. Think about it. It’s brilliant. No more scantily clad selfies or uncomfortable party photos or inappropriate pics. Kids these days are too lazy. They won’t want to wait. They’ll give up. And if they DO care enough to post the pics, they’ll have to shake, and wait, and wait, and wait, just like we did when we used to watch those old Polaroid pics develop. And by then, they’ll hopefully have second thoughts about what it was they were posting. By the way, some lawmakers and spouses may need the Polaroid button too. This may go way beyond kids when it comes to trying to stop the influx of duck lip pics, bathroom muscle pics, drunk and partying pics, and all those other pics which were never a good idea. When the teens get older and show they’re more responsible, we can take off the Polaroid button just like we lose the training wheels or the driving restrictions.

Bloggers can debate who’s to blame and who should be held responsible for the state of our kids and what they post online. Sure parents share the blame. But so does technology. When everything can be done without giving it a second thought, then things will be done without giving it a second thought. And when they’re done. They’re done and posted online forever.


About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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One Response to Dadmissions: The Polaroid Selfie

  1. Kim Keister says:

    I have a 3 year old son…he will not be getting a cell phone or his own computer until he understands what the real use of these are for. Like when he’s 15.

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