Dadmissions: Cinnamon and Honey

Who says girls are sugar and spice and everything nice… because today I have all the proof I need that they are cinnamon and honey and giving me a run for my money. I saw one of the kids peek out of the kitchen and I knew it. I KNEW they were up to no good. The peek gave it away. It was a lookout. The only question was what type of damage or destruction were they causing and was it covered under the homeowners insurance. So I went to investigate further and what I found isn’t in any parenting manual. Damn manuals. The girls had taken two of their dolls and smothered them in cinnamon and then added honey for good measure… on the kitchen table, on the kitchen floor, and all over. They said they were pretending it was Halloween and they wanted the dolls to dress up like mummies so they were making them look all dirty like mummies. We should have filmed an abstinence PSA right there with the kids, the mess, and the look on my face which said why did I ever get into this in the first place. I took pictures so the police would have evidence and then I started doing my best parental yelling. One of the girls started to clean up the table by pushing all the cinnamon onto the floor. The other girl had disappeared. A couple of minutes later she yelled from the bathroom for her sister to come see the water. Dear god what now. I went to corner that one and found she had taken one of the cinnamon dolls and proceeded to try and wash it in the bathroom. The bathroom sink was now full of cinnamon that oozed out the sides and the edges and down the front cabinet. If you’re keeping score that’s two rooms destroyed. I went back in the kitchen where the one daughter was trying to sweep up the cinnamon and succeeded in sweeping a trail across the rest of the floor that had been clean until now. I went to check on the other one but lucky me, she had already made her way back to the kitchen with a trail of drips and cinnamon from the bathroom falling behind her. By this time both kids were turning on each other like government witnesses saying it was the other’s idea and not their’s. I went into cleaning mode deathly afraid that the wife would catch ME and what was clearly a breakdown of the parental supervision process. I cleaned up the rest of the cinnamon and did what any hardworking honest dad would do: I hid the dirty towels in the bottom of the laundry hamper. I then took those dolls and didn’t know what to do so I did the only thing that seemed appropriate. I took those dolls, shoved them in the dishwasher with a load of dishes, put in the soap, and put that sucker on full blast. Maybe the dolls will melt. Maybe they’ll be just fine. I’ll know in two hours, a super scrub, and a high heat drying cycle. But either way I guarantee, these dolls will learn to run and tell an adult the next time two little kids try and dress them up like cinnamon and honey “mummies”. And how was YOUR morning…

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About dadmissions

author of Dadmissions. surrounded by a wife and two girls... and a dog named Cupcake
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One Response to Dadmissions: Cinnamon and Honey

  1. A beautiful day in the neighborhood there, as always – LMAO! One day, you’ll look back at this and laugh, and they’ll have a great story.

    In the meantime, you might want to show them what mummies look like – at least you would’ve only lost a Costco-sized carload of TP. 😉 Team Toby –

    Dedicated to raising awareness of and funds for pulmonary fibrosis in memory of Toby Neipris Wilgoren


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