After a packed weekend where we went to a 7th birthday party and an adult birthday party, where we volunteered at the girl scout cookie pickup, then picked up and sorted our own cookies, and did the normal shopping and errands of a weekend, I’m tired. I’m really tired. And now it’s already back to work. Let’s face it. If you have kids, the word relaxation never appears with the word weekend. Weekends are filled with soccer and parties and school gatherings and play dates and kids homework and cleaning and all the things that parents need to do. It’s crazy! So I’m here to propose something radical. Stay with me here… I’m proposing to you, a new nine day week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, then Saturday do-over and Sunday do-over. The asterisk days if you will.
The two new days aren’t for kids or athletics or birthday parties or mall shopping. They’re for mom and dad and much-needed relaxation. They solve a bunch of problems at once. I don’t need to feel like a bad dad because we’ll still run ourselves ragged doing all the things we do for the kids every Saturday and Sunday. But then we’ll get the do-overs. The real mom and dad weekend will begin with Saturday do-over and Sunday do-over. You see?
Now, we’ll need to make some adjustments to the calendar.
A nine day week will mean 468 days in a year. So you need to stop thinking about seasons like we do now. Because the one thing I can’t change is the rotation of the Earth around the sun. This means that sometimes Christmas will be in the winter and sometimes it will be in the spring. Sometimes Alicia’s birthday will be in March and sometimes it will be in October. Sorry, but everyone needs to make some sacrifices for the calendar to work. It might be a little confusing, but think about how much relaxation you’ll get to jam in during those added two days each week. That’s an extra 104 days a year in me-time. That’s an extra 104 days a year of “Rocky” reruns on cable for me, of weekend naps, of Lifetime television for women for my wife, of barbecues, of book reading, and of all the things we hardly do now because we’re so busy with the kids on the weekends.
Oh and another thing. The do-overs are untouchable days. They are not for kids’ weekend spillover activities that we didn’t get to on Saturday and Sunday. That would defeat the purpose. They’re for us, the moms and dads of the world with bags under our eyes, and a lack of pep in our step. We deserve these two extra days each week. If the calendar was comfort food, these would be the chicken pot pie and mom’s meatloaf days of the week. These would be the Folgers in your cup, the best part of waking up. These would be the Snuggle fabric softener bear with the new blanket fresh out of the dryer. These do-over days are everything we’ve been waiting for. Join me in demanding a new nine day week. Relaxation awaits.
I’ll see you for drinks on Saturday do-over. The day is wide open.
Originally posted in 2012 on Facebook at DadmissionsTheBook and in the South Pasadena Patch